Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Who am I?

To get to know me, you need to know that I have three desires in life:

1) To have a number or equation named after me.
I am an engineer by education and trade. Like most engineers produced by a certain Institute of Technology in the state of Georgia, I am fairly competent. However, I don’t just want to be competent. I want to be good. I want to be a world class, “miracle worker”, a Montgomery Scott. When an engineer reaches this level of absolute awesomeness they always get a number or equation named after them. Examples: the Reynolds number, the Bernoulli equation, the Loewy Number, the Kutta-Jukowski equation, Poisson Ratio, etc. Ok, so Poisson was a liar and a cheat, not an awesome engineer, but you get the picture.

2) To win a Hugo Award.
I’ll admit that I might settle for a Pulitzer or a Noble Prize, but for the most part the Hugo Award is where it’s at. In my spare non-engineering time I like to write novels, mostly scifi/fantasy. Please do not be impressed. In my mind having an engineering degree is much more impressive. Writing is a gift God gave me. Engineering is a constant struggle, a battle, I only ever win by the grace of God. I am not yet published but would like to be. When I am published, I want to be compared to the greats: Asimov, Bradbury, Jordan, Tolkien, Card, and others. I want that symbol of greatness that only writing a truly fantastic mind blowing scifi novel can attain. I want to win the Hugo Award.

3) Be all God wants me to be.
This is really a tough one. It’s the one I work hard to achieve but often feel the farthest from. God created the heavens and the earth. He sent His only Child to earth to die for me. How do I repay Him? By seeking Him? Not usually. See numbers 1 and 2. Clearly I seek fame (not necessarily fortune. I’m not sure how much money there is in getting a number named after you). I want to be awesome for God, but that sort of comes back to my desire for fame. I want my name to be inserted into Hebrews 11, the Bible Hall of Fame, but I fall short way more than Romans 3:23 calls for. You see this desire for fame just really isn’t what God wants me to desire. He wants me to seek Him first. I know this, but there is some sort of disconnect between my head, my intellectual desire, and my actions. I’m afraid I make God’s worst child at times.

So there I am. And just so you know number 1 is slightly evil. My last name has 13 letters in it. Engineers will hate me forever if I get something named after me.

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