Born to Move

I was born while my family was moving.

That's not an exaggeration or some sort of made up mythical story. For realz, dead serious, I was born while my family was moving.

My dad was in the Navy, and the Navy doctor approved us to move in mid February because he thought I was due in March. He refused to believe my mother that I would be coming in February because I was "too small". My mom is 5'4" and barely weights 100 lbs. She tried to explain to him that small people sometimes have small babies. Well, the doctor didn't believe her and thus my family found themselves moving from Corpus Christi, TX to Sunnyvale, CA in mid-February.

My mom went into labor on Valentine's Day (Feb. 14th), and they stopped in El Paso, TX and I was born.

To make matters even better, my older sister and brother had the chicken pox, so I was isolated from all the other newborns because they thought I might be carrying it. I wasn't, so after three days they let us go on in our move.

So yes, I was literally born while my family was moving. Since then I have moved over a dozen times, and that's just counting the moves between cities, not the moves within cities.

My family one time decided to move on a Friday and moved on the following Thursday. We packed up a family of six and moved to a new state in less than a week.

So you might say I'm an expert mover.

Therefore, when my friends who have maybe moved once counting their "move" to college try to give me moving advice, you might imagine that I want to laugh in their face. Or slap them. One or other.

This has happened multiple times since I've announced to my friends that I'm moving.

One of my friends and I were discussing that I'm moving, he mentioned that moving is difficult, that it's going to be more difficult than I'm foreseeing. I looked at him a little surprised and was like, "Dude, I've moved before."

His response was, "This is different. You're moving without your family." My immediate thought was "How on earth do you know? You've never moved in your life until you moved after college." I know why he's having a hard time adapting. He's never moved before.

My actual response was "I moved without my family when I came to college."

Boy: "That was different. College is different."

Ok, I recognize this is true. I know this is true. College is a unique atmosphere where everyone is the same age. But it's hard for me to take him seriously when he says this, because when he "moved to college" he moved thirty minutes away from home. When I "moved to college", I moved 5 hours away to a city where I knew no one. I didn't treat it differently from any other move.

It is harder to make friends when not in school. I know this because I faced this at my co-op. But I did make friends, not with fellow co-ops like you may think, but with the full time employees near my age. I went to the occasional dinner with them, barbecue, and movie. Even though I was single and they were married, I was their friend.

I know this is not going to be easy, but I'm not scared. For some reason this guy thought I should be.

Another one of my friends tried to give me advice on moving the other day. I was joking with his fiancee, that they should send their kids to me in the summers (one day, far from now, when they have kids). I then commented that they should send me their kids so I wouldn't feel so lonely. Now, I didn't mean the kind of loneliness that comes without having friends. I meant the kind of loneliness that comes from all your friends getting married this year, therefore, they'll most definitely have kids before you do, therefore, you're going to be single when they have entire families.

My friend thought I meant not having friends and he was like, "You'll make friends. It's all part of moving." I wanted to slap him. I don't think this boy has ever really moved. College was two hours away from his parents, so maybe we'll let that count. If he's moved before that, he was very young. I've moved over once every two years my entire life (when averaged). I have never had a problem making friends outside of elementary school (those were dark times). I know how to make friends. I know what moving is like.

Which is not to say I don't want comfort and support from my friends, it's just that when people, who have no idea what they're talking about, try to advise you, it's just sort of amusing and a little bit insulting.

And really, my friends who have tried to be supportive by "giving me advice", have really come across in the opposite way--because I'm incredibly optimistic, so it almost seems like they're trying to bring me down.

So moral of the story, I'm excited and not worried at all. My worries are more of a mundane, filling out paperwork in a timely manner type worries.

A Departure from Schedule

My apologies! I interrupt your regularly scheduled Engineering Tuesday post with something pressing in my life.

My first/only boyfriend just got engaged.

For those of you who know me personally, be assured that there is nothing in the way of jealousy in this comment. I am very happy for Sean and Christine, and I think they will do very well together. I wish them all the best of luck in their journey together, and I am sure they will manage to be ridiculously happy. I have known Sean for nearly ten years now, and I know he loves Christine and is very happy to be with her. And he's also lucky to have her. She is a fantastic girl!

So - if I'm not jealous, why am I interrupting the schedule to post about this?

Because my first/only boyfriend just got engaged, and I still haven't had a boyfriend number two.

Sean and I dated during Freshman and Sophomore year of college. I then broke up with him. (It was very mutual - but I initiated it, so I get to say I broke up with him). Since then I've been on maybe two events I would call dates, but I have never actually "dated" anyone since Sean. (Those two dates were not with the same guy).

I'm not really looking for a guy. I'm not desperate by any means. It's just weird that Sean is getting married and I'm still single.

When I was young, I never imagined I would get married out of college. That idea did sort of sneak up on me when I was in college but I brushed it aside. I know that if I marry someone it will be on God's time and not mine.

But I've watched several of my good friends get married recently. And it hurts a little.

All these people are moving on in their lives. They're going on an adventure I can't participate in.

They're leaving me behind.

What will I do when all my friends are married? What will it be like when I'm the only one without a significant other? It means I'll only be able to hang out with my female friends on designated "girl's nights" or "Sci-fi nights" (depending on the girl). And forget hanging out with my guy friends alone ever again. Anyone will tell you that's not appropriate. So I had better be friends with their wives if I ever want to see them again.

In this bleak vision of my future, if I want to go to a movie, I'll probably have to go alone. If I do call up my married friend and ask, they'll probably say something like "Oh, I'm going to see that with my husband or kids..."

Good Lord! What will I do when my friends start having kids?

As I said earlier. It's not that I'm desperately seeking a guy or even want one right now. It's just that I don't like getting left behind. I don't like looking at a future where I have to attend movies by myself. Where I spend my birthday alone.

Because believe me, if all my friends get married, I will spend my birthday alone. Who would choose me over their spouse on Valentine's Day?

So on occasions like the engagement of my first/only boyfriend, I think I'm warranted this moment of self-doubt, this moment of looking at a bleak and desolate future where I am alone.

But I know that I have to trust God. And I have to have faith that my friends won't simply dump me when they get married. And I can't let this vision of the future overwhelm and blind me.

If I'm meant to get married, God will bring someone into my life. If not, God will give me the strength to be a single woman in this romantically paired world.

And I guess I'll always have my little sister. Plan B is always the two of us living together like Jane and Cassandra Austen. Old maids, having a grand time in the world together.

And that will be fun, as long as she learns to cook at some point. I'm not cooking for her for the rest of my life.