A long time ago in a small American town not that far from your own, there were three churches: a Methodist Church, A Presbyterian Church, and a Catholics Church. The congregations lived in harmony, enjoying community and fellowship without allowing their doctrinal differences to interfere.
They held dances in which all the members would exuberantly praise God. They held dinner parties where people sipped wine, remembering Jesus' miracle with the drink. All was right and good in the town.
Then one day, a Baptist Church opened its doors.
The other three churches had no prejudice against this new member of their Christian fraternity. They invited the new denomination to a prty to welcome them. As usual, the party involved dancing.
The Baptists arrived to the party bearing casseroles and crock pot stews, but the other denominations overlooked the oddity (and carefully did not try the mystery casserole). Then the fiddler began to strike up a tune and the people of God began to dance.
At first, everything seemed normal. Some people danced better than others, but in general all seemed to be going well. Until the three original churches saw their Baptist brethren get on the dance floor.
The Baptists danced exuberantly, meaningfully. They meant to glorify God with their dancing, and it can not be doubted that God saw their good intentions. However, what the Methodists, Presbyterians, and Catholics saw was the most awful dancing ever. Children cried at the sight of the awful performance. Elders ran for cover, trying not to be hit by awkwardly moving limbs or stepped on by ill timed steps. In general, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth by everyone except the Baptists, who thought all was good.
As usual, alcoholic beverages were offered at that party. As the Baptists drank (as little as it may have been), their dancing got worse. The others had not thought it was possible. Some wished they were blind rather than witness the horrible spectacle.
So the next day, after everyone had sufficiently recovered the heads of each church except the Baptist Church met in private.
"That was the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed," the Methodist pastor turned pale as he remembered the spectacle.
"It cannot be allowed to happen again," the Catholic priest agreed. "But I do not know how we can stop it without stopping our own parties. We don't want to make the Baptists feel as if they are not part of our brethren. We don't want them to feel slighted when we don't invite them to our parties."
"Unless we make them think it was their idea," the Presbyterian preacher said. "The Baptist pastor seems a decent fellow and I have a plan." The other two listened in silence as the man explained.
Later that day the three went to the Baptist pastor. They explained what weeping and gnashing of teeth the dancing and drinking had caused among the other denominations and how they did not want to hurt the feelings of the Baptist. Then the Presbyterian preacher explained his idea.
"You should convince your denomination that dancing and drinking are wrong," the Presbyterian said.
"They won't like the drinking idea," the Baptist pastor pointed out.
"Yes, but if they drink they'll dance and we can't handle that," the Catholic priest pleaded.
"And we can Biblically support the no dancing or drinking," the Methodist preacher explained eagerly. "You can talk about the temptation, and how dancing leads to other things, and drinking leads to drunkenness. It's not wrong, just a little more strict."
The Baptist preacher was dubious, but eventually he was made to see the light. The next Sunday and subsequent Sunday's afterward, he preached about the tempations that lay in dancing and drinking. Slowly, the Baptist congregation began to decline invitations to the others dance parties. Or they accepted and brought the food, but did not dance.
The other congregations were filled with relief. No more would there be weeping and gnashing of teeth. All would be right in the world.
So remember, my fellow Baptists out there, there is a reason why the original Baptists forbade us from dancing and drinking. It was imposed upon us, because our dancing was so horrible.
[This idea came upon me after attending several Baptist dances. No one got on the dance floor until after the electric slide was played and I have never seen so many people - including myself - mess up the electric slide. Good times]
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wheel of Time: The Re-Read is Over (A Review of The Gathering Storm)
So I feel a little bad about not mentioning it earlier, but my Wheel of Time reread is over. I have also finished reading the newest book, so no more Wheel of Time reading until next November when the Towers of Midnight come out.
So as most Wheel of Time fans know, Brandon Sanderson is finishing the Wheel of Time. For those of you who don't know what that means, it basically means that the latest Wheel of Time book was written by a completely new guy. My thoughts and feelings?
The Gathering Storm.
Was.
AWESOME.
It was gripping from beginning to end. The characters seemed to be the exact same people I know and love, and trust me since I just finished rereading 11 books about them, I would know if they changed. I'll admit that I judged Mat's few chapters a little harshly and that the first chapter I read about him seemed a little jarring. I can't put my finger on what was wrong, only that that was the first chapter that made me think "This isn't written by Robert Jordan." Undoubtedly, this is because I love Mat. He is my favorite and has been my favorite since I was 11. I drink in chapter's about Mat, and when I read The Path of the Daggers, I wanted to throw it across the room because he wasn't in it (it also took me like twice as long to read). But after I got past my initial jolt, when Mat got into action, I got into the story.
I certainly don't want to ruin the story for anyone with any spoilers so I'll just say that one of the major points in the story is a large character change for the worse in Rand. As Rand is one of my least favorite characters, you would think this wouldn't help me to like him better. Yet I read his sections, sucked in, with complete fascination. My heart broke for this man who was essentially broken by the tasks he knows he must complete and knowledge that if he fails the world is doomed. I found myself wanting to help him - feeling sympathy! That's not something I often feel for Rand Al'Thor. And the end of his storyline in this book was simply breathtaking. I can't wait to read the next book, to know how the events of the end have truly changed him - to see if he really does become a better man.
Egwene and Rand were the two central characters, and I enjoyed reading Egwene's sections as well. (Mat was only in like three chapters). I often forget that Egwene (and Rand for that matter) is now younger than I am. She is such a strong woman! She knows what she wants and she lets nothing deter her from forging the White Tower back together. And in this book Gawaine comes back. I love Egwene and Gawaine's relationship and I want to see them together. I can't wait to see what happens to them in the next book.
I think in general there is on phrase that sums up my reread "I CAN'T WAIT!" I need the next book. Seriously, I have to know what happens. So this is me begging Brandon Sanderson to write faster.
Next November, I will read the next book as soon as I get it. No reread this time. And just imagine, in two years time (possibly) the entire Wheel of Time will end. We'll actually know how everything turns out. I can't wait!!!
So as most Wheel of Time fans know, Brandon Sanderson is finishing the Wheel of Time. For those of you who don't know what that means, it basically means that the latest Wheel of Time book was written by a completely new guy. My thoughts and feelings?
The Gathering Storm.
Was.
AWESOME.
It was gripping from beginning to end. The characters seemed to be the exact same people I know and love, and trust me since I just finished rereading 11 books about them, I would know if they changed. I'll admit that I judged Mat's few chapters a little harshly and that the first chapter I read about him seemed a little jarring. I can't put my finger on what was wrong, only that that was the first chapter that made me think "This isn't written by Robert Jordan." Undoubtedly, this is because I love Mat. He is my favorite and has been my favorite since I was 11. I drink in chapter's about Mat, and when I read The Path of the Daggers, I wanted to throw it across the room because he wasn't in it (it also took me like twice as long to read). But after I got past my initial jolt, when Mat got into action, I got into the story.
I certainly don't want to ruin the story for anyone with any spoilers so I'll just say that one of the major points in the story is a large character change for the worse in Rand. As Rand is one of my least favorite characters, you would think this wouldn't help me to like him better. Yet I read his sections, sucked in, with complete fascination. My heart broke for this man who was essentially broken by the tasks he knows he must complete and knowledge that if he fails the world is doomed. I found myself wanting to help him - feeling sympathy! That's not something I often feel for Rand Al'Thor. And the end of his storyline in this book was simply breathtaking. I can't wait to read the next book, to know how the events of the end have truly changed him - to see if he really does become a better man.
Egwene and Rand were the two central characters, and I enjoyed reading Egwene's sections as well. (Mat was only in like three chapters). I often forget that Egwene (and Rand for that matter) is now younger than I am. She is such a strong woman! She knows what she wants and she lets nothing deter her from forging the White Tower back together. And in this book Gawaine comes back. I love Egwene and Gawaine's relationship and I want to see them together. I can't wait to see what happens to them in the next book.
I think in general there is on phrase that sums up my reread "I CAN'T WAIT!" I need the next book. Seriously, I have to know what happens. So this is me begging Brandon Sanderson to write faster.
Next November, I will read the next book as soon as I get it. No reread this time. And just imagine, in two years time (possibly) the entire Wheel of Time will end. We'll actually know how everything turns out. I can't wait!!!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Book Review: Alcatraz versus the Knights of Crystallia
Title: Alcatraz versus the Knights of Crystallia
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 316
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
The adventures of Alcatraz, Bastille, and Grandpa Smedry continue, but this time we get a glimpse into the Free Kingdoms (we get to see what we Hushlanders are missing out on). The Librarians have been attempting to create a treaty while Grandpa Smedry was out fetching Alcatraz, and this can only mean one thing: they're up to something! This book, the middle book of the series, begins to detail what Alcatraz might call his fall and hints even more that something terrible happens that Alcatraz blames himself for. It definitely left me waiting for the next book and the next. I want to know what happens to Alcatraz, Bastille, and the rest of the Smedry clan! (Though it should be noted that the sentence isn't meant to indicate that Bastille is a Smedry, because she isn't).
This book definitely gets a PG rating because of fantasy violence, a near cold blood murder, and parental/child tension. When it comes to Alcatraz's parents - well his father just seems to not care and his mother is a Librarian. But still good a good read for older children and those of us who still think we are children.
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 316
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
The adventures of Alcatraz, Bastille, and Grandpa Smedry continue, but this time we get a glimpse into the Free Kingdoms (we get to see what we Hushlanders are missing out on). The Librarians have been attempting to create a treaty while Grandpa Smedry was out fetching Alcatraz, and this can only mean one thing: they're up to something! This book, the middle book of the series, begins to detail what Alcatraz might call his fall and hints even more that something terrible happens that Alcatraz blames himself for. It definitely left me waiting for the next book and the next. I want to know what happens to Alcatraz, Bastille, and the rest of the Smedry clan! (Though it should be noted that the sentence isn't meant to indicate that Bastille is a Smedry, because she isn't).
This book definitely gets a PG rating because of fantasy violence, a near cold blood murder, and parental/child tension. When it comes to Alcatraz's parents - well his father just seems to not care and his mother is a Librarian. But still good a good read for older children and those of us who still think we are children.
A Book Review: Alcatraz versus the Scrivener's Bones
Title: Alcatraz versus the Scrivener's Bones
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 322
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
This book continues the hilarity and wonderfulness of the Alcatraz series. Alcatraz, Grandpa Smedry, and Bastille all come back as well as new characters. We learn more about the Librarians and the different factions that exist within them, and we feel a foreshadowing that perhaps there is a reason why Alcatraz Smedry thinks he is such a bad person. I read this book in a morning instead of doing homework I really should have been doing, so I highly recommend it to everyone! Especially if you want a quick, enjoyable, and hilarious read. Just don't start with this book. Start with the first book, Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians. Don't say I didn't warn you.
This is rated PG because of fantasy violence and deceptive undead librarians who are trying to convince them to give up their souls. However, it's definitely good for older elementary schoolers who have read beyond their shelves and those of us who still have young hearts.
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 322
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
This book continues the hilarity and wonderfulness of the Alcatraz series. Alcatraz, Grandpa Smedry, and Bastille all come back as well as new characters. We learn more about the Librarians and the different factions that exist within them, and we feel a foreshadowing that perhaps there is a reason why Alcatraz Smedry thinks he is such a bad person. I read this book in a morning instead of doing homework I really should have been doing, so I highly recommend it to everyone! Especially if you want a quick, enjoyable, and hilarious read. Just don't start with this book. Start with the first book, Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians. Don't say I didn't warn you.
This is rated PG because of fantasy violence and deceptive undead librarians who are trying to convince them to give up their souls. However, it's definitely good for older elementary schoolers who have read beyond their shelves and those of us who still have young hearts.
A Book Review: Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians
Title: Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 308
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians isn't really written by Brandon Sanderson and it isn't really fantasy. It's actually an autobiography by Alcatraz Smedry. The reason why its published under a pseudoname and as fantasy is because of the Librarians. You see, there is a conspiracy. And I loved every moment of it. From fighting off creatures created from bad romance novels to discovering that prisons are actually named after the good guys, this book is fantastic for middle schoolers and everyone else. Some of the jokes middle schoolers may not understand, and Sanderson often pokes good fun at the quarks and traditions of fantasy books, but everyone will love it. It's a coming of age story about a boy discovering who he is and the man looking back trying to convince everyone that he's not the hero everyone thinks he is.
This is rated PG because there is fantasy violence and librarians are the bad guys. So I figured that deserved a PG, so young kids don't get confused and think all librarians are evil. Just the ones who are parts of cults, or actually sort of undead. :)
Author: Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Length: 308
Quality Rating: 9
Content Rating: PG
Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians isn't really written by Brandon Sanderson and it isn't really fantasy. It's actually an autobiography by Alcatraz Smedry. The reason why its published under a pseudoname and as fantasy is because of the Librarians. You see, there is a conspiracy. And I loved every moment of it. From fighting off creatures created from bad romance novels to discovering that prisons are actually named after the good guys, this book is fantastic for middle schoolers and everyone else. Some of the jokes middle schoolers may not understand, and Sanderson often pokes good fun at the quarks and traditions of fantasy books, but everyone will love it. It's a coming of age story about a boy discovering who he is and the man looking back trying to convince everyone that he's not the hero everyone thinks he is.
This is rated PG because there is fantasy violence and librarians are the bad guys. So I figured that deserved a PG, so young kids don't get confused and think all librarians are evil. Just the ones who are parts of cults, or actually sort of undead. :)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A Christmas Story: "Be Careful What You Wish For"
Warning: There be spoilers below. Though seriously, if you haven't seen A Christmas Story, then...well...you need to fix that.
Every year at Christmas, a major channel plays the movie A Christmas Story for 24 hours, which is great because its my grandfather's favorite Christmas movie and he has a habit of napping. He can nap all day and by the end of the day he's seen the entire movie.
So a Christmas story is about a kid who just really wants a bebe gun (not sure on the spelling there), but everyone keeps telling him he'll shoot his eye out. In the end, his dad gets him the bebe gun. He goes outside to play with it. He shoots it and knocks his glasses off, and he thinks he's shot his eye out. (He didn't. He breaks his glasses).
There is a clear message to this story. We all think we want something, like a gun. We want it more than anything and then when we get it, we break our glasses and cut our cheek. Nothing is ever like what we daydream. In Ralphie's case that means getting a bebe gun doesn't make him the sheriff of his town and capable of protecting his entire family from thieves. In most of our cases, it means that thing we asked for isn't going to fix our lives and make it better.
Sometimes we don't get what we want, but its often worse when we do get what we desparately think we want. We think moving out of the parental home will mean life can start, but suddenly there are bills and real world situations we never had to face before. We think getting married will be the answers to all of our prayers - because of course he's Prince Charming - but then we realize getting married means living with a boy who throws his socks on the floor. So think about what you're desperately asking for in life and your daydreams, and think about if the warnings people are giving you are true. You may indeed shoot your eye out. Does that mean you shouldn't go through with moving out or getting married? Not necessarily. Just learn from the movie. Be aware that nothing is like what you dream and that you should be careful not to shoot your eye out. And with a story prepared for your mother about how an icicle broke your glasses....
Just kidding. I, in no way, promote lying. But please, don't shoot your eye out.
Sometimes we don't get what we want, but its often worse when we do get what we desparately think we want. We think moving out of the parental home will mean life can start, but suddenly there are bills and real world situations we never had to face before. We think getting married will be the answers to all of our prayers - because of course he's Prince Charming - but then we realize getting married means living with a boy who throws his socks on the floor. So think about what you're desperately asking for in life and your daydreams, and think about if the warnings people are giving you are true. You may indeed shoot your eye out. Does that mean you shouldn't go through with moving out or getting married? Not necessarily. Just learn from the movie. Be aware that nothing is like what you dream and that you should be careful not to shoot your eye out. And with a story prepared for your mother about how an icicle broke your glasses....
Just kidding. I, in no way, promote lying. But please, don't shoot your eye out.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December Plans
It's December and that means....CHRISTMAS!!!
Unfortunately it also means finals. I can pretty much guarantee I won't post anything until after my finals next week. Luckily my finals end next Wednesday. So what do I plan to do with this blog during my abundant Christmas break?
Like most people I intend to do a few Christmas themed posts, as a sort of Christmas countdown. Be prepared for not just any Christmas themed posts. This December I will be discussing "Everything Important About Christmas I Learned From Christmas Movies" Or EIACILFM for short. Yeah, I need to work on the name. Classic Christmas movies such as A Christmas Story and The Year Without a Santa Claus will be featured as well as newer Christmas classics like The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Santa Clause. Be prepared. It's going to be fantastic.
So see you after finals and good luck with your own!
Unfortunately it also means finals. I can pretty much guarantee I won't post anything until after my finals next week. Luckily my finals end next Wednesday. So what do I plan to do with this blog during my abundant Christmas break?
Like most people I intend to do a few Christmas themed posts, as a sort of Christmas countdown. Be prepared for not just any Christmas themed posts. This December I will be discussing "Everything Important About Christmas I Learned From Christmas Movies" Or EIACILFM for short. Yeah, I need to work on the name. Classic Christmas movies such as A Christmas Story and The Year Without a Santa Claus will be featured as well as newer Christmas classics like The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Santa Clause. Be prepared. It's going to be fantastic.
So see you after finals and good luck with your own!
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