Friday, October 14, 2011

Next couple of months

I know I promised every Tuesday and Thursday, but its not happening. It's just not happening.

Balancing school, work, and some semi-semblance of a life are just too difficult.

I spend my week working, as in a real job. My workday is 7:30 am - 4:30 pm. If I need to run any errands, I need to do it after work. And I have to take care of my dog. And by the time six thirty hits, I'm wiped and all I want to do is watch TV. But I can't because my apartment is a wreck and I need to clean it. Or I need to cook something so I can eat regular food at work tomorrow instead of eating fast food for lunch.

Why don't I do errands and chores on the weekend, you ask? Easy. Because I spend my weekends:
  1. watching lectures for my final class
  2. doing problems/tests for said final class
  3. trying to create the required Matlab code for my Master's Project which I have to finish by December
  4. trying to write said Master's project
Seriously, last weekend, I watched two 1.5 hour lectures for my class, took a seven question test that took me an entire day, outlined and planned out the actual writing of my Master's Project, and reworked some Matlab code to try to make it actually work, realized that wouldn't work, banged my head for two hours trying to figure out what would work, tried to implement said new work around, and realized this new work around required even more work than I anticipated.

So basically my life sucks. I don't have time to try to branch out and join groups to meet people so I can make friends in Albuquerque, where I've only been living for a few months. My only friends are my friends from work, and I can't even commit to a game of Settlers of Catan with them because I'm all "That will take hours!!!"

Seriously, one of my work friends invited me over to a movie night on a Friday night and I said, "Only if we're done by ten, because I'm getting up at seven on Saturday to work on my Master's Project."

Not exactly a conducive attitude to making friends. But a great attitude for getting work done.

But I have hope, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Mid-December the trials and tribulations of grad school will end. Then I won't have to spend my weekends on school stuff. Instead I can spend them making friends. I'll have time during the week to work out and then I can be in shape again. Life will be good.

Of course that hope is partnered by fear, because OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO BE DONE WITH MY MASTER'S PROJECT BY DECEMBER. I actually have to have a finished project. *pass out*

So thinking about my new shiny life on the horizon immediately leads to panic, which leads to me not doing my chores during the week, but instead banging my head against Matlab in an attempt to get something done, so my chores build up until it reaches a point of over boiling and I have to waste a weekend I should have been using to work on my project to clean house which then leads to more panic because OH MY GOSH I'M SO BEHIND!

Basically I'm a positive feedback system of panic and stress. (Positive feedback, for those who don't know, is bad. It's what causes that squeal that microphones make when they get too close to each other or speakers.)

So you'll have to forgive me if I don't post as regularly as I claim. I try, because writing these posts relieves stress. It doesn't relieve the amount of work I have to do, but it brings down my panic level. And a high panic level is not conducive to good work.

Please don't give up on me if the next three months on this blog are rough and not posted regularly. I promise I'll come back in January, full swing. Maybe even blogging everyday.

Because come January my life is summer all the time.

No more school. I can't even imagine how glorious it will be.


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